If You Can't Beat 'em
If You Can't Beat 'em is the seventeenth main quest in Kingdom Come: Deliverance. It begins after speaking with Sir Radzig at the end of All that Glisters.
Synopsis
After the affair of the counterfeiters, it's become clear that Sasau conceals many secrets. There's talk that there are "crimps", as they're called, recruiting men for a new bandit camp...
Objectives
- Find out where the crimps meet at Sasau
- Ask the Sasau Bailiff about the crimps
- Talk to the Sasau tanner
- (Optional) Take care of the brawlers who meet in the evenings behind the tanner's house.
- Fight club
- Go and tell the tanner how things worked out with the brawlers.
- Go to the crimp's meeting place and try to find out from them the location of the camp.
- Fight club
- (Optional) Take care of the brawlers who meet in the evenings behind the tanner's house.
- Talk to the Sasau tanner
- Ask the innkeeper at the Tavern on the Green about the crimps
- Ask Miller Simon
- Ask Thomas, the suspicious wounded man at the infirmary.
Walkthrough
Go to Sasau to begin your investigation. You have several leads, depending on your progress in other quests.
If you haven't ingratiated yourself with the right people, go see the Innkeeper at the Tavern on the Green. He will tell you he saw a group of shady looking characters coming and going, but they don't cause any trouble - and they bought a lot of booze. Unfortunately for Henry, they haven't been around for a few weeks, and the innkeeper has no idea where they went. He does know that they like to play dice, and advises you to see Simon for more information.
Even if you don't speak to the innkeeper, if you have completed Thick as Thieves - Simon, Simon can help you find the crimps.
If you haven't done the tasks he requested, he will give you the opportunity to do so before giving you any additional information. He too will tell you about the church - there's no need to visit both men as the information they give is the same.
If you managed to heal Thomas in In God's Hands, go up to the Infirmary, where Thomas (dressed in red-and-green) is still lying in bed. Ask him about the crimps and he will tell you to go to the church in the evening, when there's a light on and the door is open, and kneel before the altar.
But if you want, go to see the Bailiff and ask if he has noticed anything suspicious. He will instantly go on the defensive, asking why Sir Radzig cares about what is going on in Sasau, stating that Sebastian vom Berg has been nagging him about the recent surge in crime as well. As Sir Sebastian has no jurisdiction in the city, the Bailiff is annoyed that he would presume to interfere.
He will also reveal that he gets complaints from the local Tanner, due to the number of local youths that disturb him by using the nearby quarry for wrestling.
Bailiff's Stats
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| 6-9 | 5-11 | 15-16 |
Head over to the tannery and speak to the tanner himself, who will tell you all about the ruckus that comes from the quarry almost every night - the group of ruffians even jumped him when he complained and beat him up. Henry has the option of offering to use his intimidation skills to assist, in which case Ledermann will advise you not to get off on the wrong foot during your investigation.
Tanner's Stats
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|---|---|---|
| 0 | 0 | 9 |
That evening, go to the quarry and find the fighters - Punch, Stump, Betwixt, Lanky, and Weed. Although the others will try and assist you with your inquiries (and can tell you there's more to the tanner's tale than what he told you), it's Punch that you really need to talk to. He will tell you that he works for the Bailiff, and there's nothing wrong with their wrestling club - in fact, the tanner is only complaining because he joined and lost.
You have several options to help resolve the situation with the tanner. Firstly, the two of you can come up with a plan - the gang will clear off for a few days, Henry will convince the tanner he drove them off, and they will split the 300 
reward money (either give him 150 , 75 , or 5 ). Secondly, you can tell the tanner where to shove it - although you will fail that objective.
Punch's Stats
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| 0 | 0 | 17 |
Thirdly, you can convince Punch to keep the peace and move on - and he'll agree if you win the tournament. First, you must fight Weed, then one of the other three men (or all three, if you feel like a bit of practice), then Punch himself, which will get you 375 , plus the 300 from the tanner. Not only that, but Punch will tell you a rumor he heard that might suit a tough bloke like you - and where you can find the people who might recruit you.
However you find out the location of the recruiters, go to the church in the evening (after 22nd hour), when there's a light on and the door is open, and kneel before the altar. Some bandits will come in and demand to know how you found out about them - tell them how this happened, or lie. The lead bandit, Kozliek, will give you a simple task - kill Pious, the last remaining member of the robber gang who attacked Neuhof and fled when the robbery became a massacre.
He tells Henry that Pious was once a priest, and is currently hiding away within the Monastery itself, nearly impossible to get to. Kozliek doesn't tell you how he looks, so Henry needs to talk to them and determine which one of the four novices is the former bandit. Your task is to kill him, as well as bringing back his special dice and a sum of money to a specific location once the tasks are done.
After promising that they'll be watching Henry's actions going forward very closely to ensure he doesn't run off, the bandits leave, though not before slipping the Key to Sasau Church through the door. This begins the quest Poverty, Chastity and Obedience.
Notes
- If you speak to Miller Simon, his map icon will not go away even after you unlock the option to find the recruiters at the Church. This happens whether you completed Thick as Thieves - Simon or used the tip from the Innkeeper.
- Even if you agree to hoodwink the tanner, you can meet Punch at the city center (near the pillory) and split the funds.
- You must fight at the tournament to unlock Revenge of the Cuman.